Selling My Soul (In a Good Way) is a weekly journal
about my efforts to get a debut novel published.
In Selling My Soul #27 (last week!), I mentioned a plan to hire a freelance editor to read and critique THROUGH A FOREST WILDERNESS. I concluded with these two expectations:
- Maybe this hired gun of an editor will give me encouragement to continue seeking a home for my novel.
- Maybe I’ll receive a reality check about my less-than-dismal chances for traditional publishing.
Now I have her answer about which “door” she sent me through.
Door #2.
Arrgghh!
On Thursday (Oct. 9), I sent Ms. Edi Tor my novel. She had time in her schedule and plunged into the manuscript. By Monday (Oct. 13), she emailed me her notes and received her second and final payment from me. I quickly scanned the comments and by Tuesday morning sent her an email that included this opening paragraph:
As I hoped, your responses were blunt, honest, and thoughtful. But, after reading your critique, it does feel like the elevator to the floor where the dreams of being published are located has shuddered to a halt.
- She didn’t like the title
- Thought the characters sounded too much alike
- Too many chapters were too short
- Secondary characters’ points-of-view (POV) were problematic
- Too much description of nature and too little forward momentum
I could go on. Ms. Edi Tor did reflect on various “positives” to my writing and story. But, overall, she felt it needed SIGNIFICANT revising.
Me? I’ve felt worse. Like when I went through a divorce. Like watching my mother die. Like a fellow minister—my district superintendent/supervisor—lie about me and force me to leave a church. Reading her notes was a cakewalk compared to divorce, death, and collegial deceit.
But still . . . it was darn hard to take.
And still is.
Hey, Larry—good old pal, bosom buddy, you old fart—don’t take this so, so, so seriously. Man up! Ms. Edi Tor is only one person. Many writers (hey, all writers) go through rejections and dejections . . . and isn’t every rejection another step toward acceptance!!?? Man up!
But still . . . it was/is darn hard to take.
More than a few of her blunt comments echoed feedback I’ve gotten from my weekly writing group. More than a few of her blunt comments revealed similar weaknesses with prior novels I’ve written. More than a few of her blunt comments were, of course, completely subjective—but also based on her expertise as a published author and as a freelance editor who has helped hundreds of other writers through her workshops and published resources.
What will I do now?
I have no idea. Hurt breeds doubt. Doubt double dates with Imposter Syndrome.
Since last week, I’ve sent zero (0) queries and received zero (0) rejections.
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“In writing a novel, when in doubt, have two guys come through the door with guns.” – Raymond Chandler