When a Samaritan Helped a Jerk

Luke 10:25-37 – The 8th Sunday after Pentecost – for Sunday, July 10, 2016

“Jesus replied, ‘A man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho. He encountered thieves, who stripped him naked, beat him up, and left him near death . . .’”

Van Gogh
Vincent Van Gogh

I wonder . . .

What if the man left near death wasn’t silent?

What if he spoke to the Samaritan who’d come to his aid?

[Warning: certain words below may disturb some readers.]

“You sonuvabitch, lemme off your damn donkey.”

The battered Jew spit blood, his breath more gasps. From atop the plodding beast, his left eye glared hatred at the Samaritan. With the right swollen shut, he was literally half blind. The man loosened his grip on the reins, scheming to fall to the ground.

But the Samaritan had secured his waist to the animal’s middle.

“Your mother’s a whore. Your father’s a dog that licks his own dick.” He coughed more blood. “If you have brothers or sisters”—from his smashed mouth, the words sounded like spudders and pissers—“they’re all pricks and bitches.” (Which came out as icks and itches.) Continue reading →

A Hit Close To Home

Luke 10:25-37 – The 8th Sunday of Ordinary Time – for Sunday, July 14, 2013

“‘Teacher,’ he asked, ‘what must I do to inherit eternal life?’” (Luke 10:25)

beatles-jesusI googled ten words/phrases/names, wondering which one would get the most “hits.” And by the way, let me be the first to acknowledge this methodology was as non-scientific as it was self-serving.

Here are my ten searches in alphabetical order:

  • Beatles
  • God
  • Golden Rule
  • Good Samaritan
  • Jesus
  • Larry Patten
  • Obama
  • Pat Robertson
  • Prodigal Son
  • Ten Commandments

Here are the “hits” each received (from my exhaustive efforts):

  • 1,660,000,000
  • 809,000,000
  • 663,000,000
  • 213,000,000
  • 54,000,000
  • 12,600,000
  • 8,970,000
  • 4,430,000
  • 3,200,000
  • 5,760

What word matched which number? Guess! (And please, no cheating . . . don’t go doing your own Google hunt, trying to wow me with your brilliance or to prove my search was a fluke that resulted in skewed results. I only wish for you to attempt a friendly guess.)

My quest for Google hits began after reading Luke 10’s ever-popular, well-known, oft-referenced “The Good Samaritan” parable. Without caring an iota for scholarly research, I believe “The Good Samaritan” and “The Prodigal Son” are Jesus’ best-known parables. I’ve heard people from faith traditions different from Christianity thoughtfully use these two stories. I’ve read novels and seen movies with plots based on ‘em. I’m confident the average atheist, agnostic or believer would score equally well on a $64,000 Samaritan-Prodigal pop quiz, whether given in the classroom or a supermarket aisle.

Have you completed your guesses? Continue reading →