F is for . . .


I once had a lengthy conversation with a man about to leave the church I served because of “gay rights*.”

His argument was simple. No one should be treated with “special favors.” He grumbled that at work he’d been overlooked for promotion because women and people of color were always prioritized. Not fair. Now it was happening with gays. Not fair.

He was white, male, and (by global standards) affluent. Just like me. I remember sharing with him that it may be difficult for people like us—white, male, and affluent—to understand how subtle (or not so subtle) forms of discrimination work. Did he worry, like many women do, about walking alone at night from his office to his car in a distant parking lot? Did he, like a Hmong immigrant who speaks accented English or an African-American male pulled over by a cop because of racial profiling, feel anxious about how he sounded or looked?

He blankly stared at me. They got special treatment. He never did.

We are a society far from full equality. Those with power don’t want to share power. No, that’s not it. Those with power have difficulty understanding that, in God’s Realm of Love, it’s never about power and always about sharing.


*btw…this conversation occurred several years ago. Read the Huffington Post to learn about what happened to Rev. Amy Delong in Wisconsin this week: found guilty of marrying two loving individuals who happened to be same-gender. Once the United Methodist Church was several compassionate steps ahead of other denominations…in racial equality, rights for children, respect for women. Now we’re a day late and a gospel truth short. Sad. Tragic. Embarrassing.

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Pho (not faux) Friendship

My friend Mark asked if I wanted to find pho with him.

Pho? Off we went during an Annual Conference lunch break, in search of a hole-in-the-wall restaurant that served pho, a traditional Vietnamese dish. After all, ever since a Conference twenty or so years ago, I’ve never considered fasting when I have a chance to share table with friends.

The 3rd Sunday of Ordinary Time – for July 3, 2011

“…the Son of Man came eating and drinking…” (Matthew 11:19)

Some definitions…

  • Pho: Noodles served in a bowl of broth, with slices of beef, vegetables, herbs, and who-knows-what-else that is “every day food” in Southeast Asia. Heavenly. More pho, please!
  • Annual Conference: United Methodist churches are “connectional,” with lay and clergy meeting annually at a regional conference for worship and business.
  • Fasting:  Spiritual discipline, where not eating for a period of time honors God and/or protests a societal concern. (i.e. Caesar Chavez fasted to call attention to the plight of field workers.)

Mark and I attended seminary together nearly forty years ago (sorry for being forthright about that, Mark). He’s done extraordinary things during his ministry, serving and working alongside folks in Africa, Central America and Malaysia. He’s currently the senior pastor at a large, thriving congregation in California’s Silicon Valley where he jokingly—and seriously—describes some of his church members as “masters of the universe*.” When Mark worked in Malaysia’s Sarawak, he discovered the pleasures of pho. He’s as comfortable with children playing on the streets of Southeast Asia as he is in California’s high-tech, high-powered jungle.

Delicious Pho (photo purloined from Foodbeast.com)

When Mark suggested pho, I had no problem following him down a street and away from Annual Conference business. For me, it’s the essence of friendship and Christian fellowship. Table time. Breaking bread and spreading crumbs. Chatting and eating. Napkins tucked on the lap, laughter the best and last spice added to the meal.

In Matthew (along with Luke) Jesus claimed others referred to him as a “drunkard and glutton.” Is there a more embarrassing passage in all the Gospels? Who do you follow as a way to embrace God? I choose to walk with the drunkard! Who has shared as no other about the power of forgiveness and the life-altering need to serve neighbor? The guy called a glutton!

Isn’t it embarrassing for Christians to have Jesus—the Christ, the Messiah, the Son of Humanity, Mary’s child—referred to as drunkard and glutton? Absolutely. And yet, it’s also one of the most refreshing revelations about the Nazarene. What mattered…people! What mattered…the equality of a table where all are welcome! What mattered…there’s always room for more chairs!

At an Annual Conference years ago, Theresa (another friend from seminary) asked if I wanted to go to lunch. I hardly ever saw her. We were both ministers and, darn it, always busy on weekends and holidays. Theresa was also the person my wife and I asked to marry us, so any opportunity to spend time with her felt precious and essential. Continue reading →

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B is for…


I’ve broken a leg. A finger. A nose. (All mine…I don’t think I’ve broken other people’s bones.) I’ve had a broken heart. However, though I’ve sometimes had little money, I’ve never really experienced being broke. My car’s been broken. My home was once broken into. Not long ago a spoke snapped and my bike became broke.

Some breaks are obvious; most are hidden. But we’re all broken. All. Sometimes, for we’re all fools too, we glance toward others and imagine perfection and contentment. In them. Not in us. But this I know as much as I know anything, all are broken. I believe the ones who admit it welcome healing: the are scarred and scared, but boldly grinning. I believe the ones that deny brokenness invite even deeper wounds.

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